Although this is the Man-Eaters blog, this is not the Man-Haters blog. Please don’t confuse the two, we LOVE men here and we are definitely not in the business of bashing any one group of race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, etc. and why would we? The only person responsible for the results you produce is you so the “man problems” that so many of us seem to have, are most likely issues we need to address within ourselves. Pony up ladies, it’s time to get real.
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The Blame Game
There are two things I dislike with a passion: women who say they hate men and women who blame men for their relationship problems. Not only is this thinking a result of selfishness it is also a very misleading, unproductive mindset that will hinder you in all of your relationships. It wasn’t until after the ending of my 4th or 5th “serious” relationship where I challenged my, “he wasn’t right for me” thinking. When you ask people why their relationship didn’t work out the first word out of their mouth is, “He…” and then the blame game begins. The problem with the blame game is that when you don’t take personal responsibility for things that happen in your life you are taking away your power to be in control of your own destiny. You are saying, “it was out of my control, he did it” and all that says is that the next relationship’s success or failure depends only on the guy you end up with, you are giving them all the power. Instead of blaming, take 100% responsibility for the things you can control, take the power back, it’s your life and you are responsible for creating it.
Hate Yourself (Not Really)
Why do you hate him all of a sudden? He was with someone when you met him, wouldn’t you think the fact he was fooling around on his girlfriend/fiancé/wife was an indication of his character and level of commitment maturity? He was a pretty nice guy when he was screwing her over, in fact he was falling in love worthy. Maybe he wasn’t with someone when you met him, maybe you just “bent” your rules a little for him. Maybe you let yourself get caught up in a situation where he won’t commit and you have already played all your cards, you have already given him everything without requiring reciprocation. Now you hate men. But it’s not the man’s fault, I’d say you are probably more to blame so stop crying, put on your big girl panties, learn from your mistake(we all make them), and move your ass on to the next one. Don’t really hate yourself, just the choices you made to get you in the situation. Then learn from them.
The One Rule That Will Keep You Out Of Dating Hell
Never make a man your priority when you are only his option
The End. This is where chasing or pursuing men gets tricky. Although it is more accepted for women to be more aggressive, the men still largely set the tone of the relationship. It is this way for a reason. Only go where a man is leading you, it is when we get caught up in dreams of relationship and committed, wedded, monogamous bliss when he is just looking for friends with benefits that we open ourselves up to be wounded. When a man wants you, you’ll know it. Never get caught up in what a man could be and think that if you “try” hard enough he’ll see what you have to offer. Never make him your priority when you are only an option to him, and always keep your options open.
Men are not to blame for our dating mishaps-WE are. It is our choices, our thoughts, our feelings, our acceptance of unacceptable behavior… true there are just terrible men and women out there who do unspeakable things that hurt those they love, but relationships take two. Ever wonder what your exes have to say about you?
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